A year ago I was a closed, fearful person. My husband and I were not communicating properly. Without going into details, the hurdles of life had taken its toll and we had become two hurting angry people, handling our emotions in entirely different manners. He blew up and I clammed up, becoming a vicious cycle.
As I internalized my emotions, my head and heart literally felt like a block of wood. Eventually, I just wasn’t able to express or feel my emotions anymore. Through counseling, I was helped to claim and identify myself again as a child of God. Claiming the many promises of God and recognizing they are also for me.
I began to realize that I was responding according to my fears. That I was only focusing on me (self) rather than focusing on God and this was sin. Jeremiah 17:5, “Cursed is the one who trusts in man (Self) who depends on flesh for strength.” Jeremiah 17:7, “But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water.”
Studying the Bible along with J.I. Packer’s book Knowing God brought truth to so many areas of my life that were so deficient. It brought out the love of God for each and every one of us – for He loved us so much He sent His only Son to die for us that we may be saved through faith. Today I feel much more free – but forever seeking.